The SEC is requiring business to burn the midnight oil and cut down some trees to disclose to investors the bad effects that climate change will have on their company and the steps the company is taking to prepare for climate change.
Being a concientious business person, I will make my business plans on this blog post.
Climate change will adversely affect this blog because the entire world will be under a thousand feet of water. We will all live on boats floating in the ocean and will occasionally meet other adventurerers to discuss vague rumors of mountain tops still above the sea.
To prepare for the emergency, we have been doing illegal and unethical scientific experiments on the workers in the call center where we cross their DNA with that of fish ... hoping that they will evolve gills.
The board of directors have stock piled jet skis and plan on holding up in a really scary looking oil tanker and plan to spend the future floating about terroizing folks on small rafts.