Saturday, October 15, 2011

Skip this post, it contains a secret, evil plan

Dear Evil Koch Brothers,

Hi, my name is Kevin Delaney. I am interested in free market health care reform and have developed a model called "The Medical Savings and Loan." This is a structured savings program that helps people self-finance their care with savings and loans. The MS&L creates a generous grant program for those who are unable to self-fund their care.

The program is meant as an alternative to insurance.

When talking about this program, I am often accused of being funded by the Evil Koch Brothers.

Truthfully, I have no knowledge of your secret, conspiratorial group … beyond the fact that it is evil.

Anyway, I looked up your online bio and the volumes of criticism of your group on Soros funded web sites.

The bios say you are successful business people and you are hated by all the right groups.

So, I decided that, instead of just being accused of being funded by the Evil Koch Brothers, it would be super fun to actually be funded by the Evil Koch Brothers.

The Medical Savings and Loan itself is a business model. To be more precise it is a model of distributed businesses which provide tools to help people self fund their care.

At the center of the distributed business model is a non-profit association to define the model and interaction of the distributed businesses.

Creating the association and hosting a meeting to start the ball rolling would cost about $15,000.

Since I am already accused of accepting money from your evil group, I thought I should write an open letter requesting the funds.

If you wrote me a check for $15,000, I would hire a lawyer to create a non-profit group and give it the by line "funded by the Koch Brothers."

I notice that a lot of people like to preface your name with the word "evil;" So, I decided that if you wrote me a check for $20,000, I would have the byline read "funded by The Evil Koch Brothers."

The Soros-funded sites dedicated to criticizing the Evil Koch Brothers indicate that you have a fondness for secret meetings.

I am all for secret meetings, but I don't do secret meetings cheap. If you want to do a secret meeting, I would want $25,000 (assuming it costs less than $5K to get to the location of secret meeting).

A secret meeting would be really fun because then the byline of my effort could have the line "created in a secret meeting with the Evil Koch Brothers."

When I go to the Occupy Wall Street meetings, people would go ballistic seeing the words "created in a secret meeting by the Evil Koch Brothers." I can't think of any better way to start a project.

Anyway, I will be sitting loose waiting for the check to arrive in the mail.

Please, don't write the check in invisible ink, and write the check from a real bank account. The bank doesn't like checks written in invisible media from make-believe accounts.

I was accused of getting checks from insurance companies during the ObamaCare debate … but all of those checks were written in invisible ink drawn from make-believe bank accounts that only existed in the accuser's head.

BTW, If you don't like using dollars anymore, I would be happy to accept payment in gold. That'd be like 15 one ounce gold coins.

What better way to start a project than to accept a pile of gold coins slipped under the table during a secret meeting with the Evil Koch Brothers?


Kevin ....

Okay, so my plan of getting funding is silly. I have a good idea that could go far if ever I received any support. I would be happy to give a presentation for free. I could rent a room and have a public meeting for a couple hundred bucks.

No comments: