Should Conservatives Embrace Polygamy?

The big news in the Beehive State is that Judge Clark Waddoups of United States District Court in Utah ruled parts Utah's anti-polygamy law Unconstitutional. Anti-polygamy laws were forced on Utah by evil liberals as a criteria for statehood. Striking down polygamy laws would allow a restoration of The LDS Political Hierarchy as it was envisioned by Joseph Smith and Brigham Young and should result in a huge conservative revival.

This little crack in the law opens the likelihood that we will see polygamy restored in the up coming years, which begs the question: "Should the Conservative Movement Embrace Polygamy?"

Before answering this question, I should note that I am not a Conservative, nor am I a fan of polygamy.

Conservatism, as anyone who studied history knows, is a reactionary ideology set on preserving the social order of the Monarchy (aka Feudalism). Conservatism appeared in the scene in the early 1800s. Conservatism traces its roots to Hegel, Machiavelli and the Right Wing of the French Parliament. Students of history know that the Left Wing of the French Parliament sought radical social change. The Right Wing sought a preservation of the social structure of the ancient regime.

The Left/Right split that dominates every aspect of modern politics did not come from the US Founders. The split came from Hegel and the French revolution.

I dislike both the Right and Left and prefer the rational and political theories of the US Founders to Conservatism.

I happen to also be an outcast in the most conservative state in the union ... Utah.

I personally have never met a conservative in Utah interested in defending liberty. Conservatism in Utah is all about advancing the church and restoring a top down social order..

But I digress. Mormonism is a reactionary ideology that appeared in the mid 1800s alongside modern conservatism and modern liberalism.

The ideology is loosely based on the covenant from The Divine Right of Kings. The Divine Right of Kings held that the monarchy drew its divine authority from a covenant stretching back to the Patriarchs of Ancient Israel. The Lords and Ladies of Feudalism drew their divine authority over the serfs through a political hierarchy that cascaded down from the monarch.

The LDS Church claims the monarch's covenant is null and void. The LDS Church claims a new covenant and a new political hierarchy with the President (The Seer, Revelator and Prophet) of the LDS Church at the top. Divine authority cascades through the political hierarchy of the church.

Proof that this covenant is true is written in the skin of our brothers. Adam and Eve had a covenant with the Heavenly father that they broke. God punished this transgression by giving men an Adam's Apple and by making childbirth really painful. Their children Cain and Abel had a new covenant which Cain broke when he killed Abel. The Heavenly Father punished the descendants of Cain by giving them a "dark and loathsome" color. (This is what the new scripture revealed to Joseph Smith and Brigham Young says.)

The current president of the United States has the Mark of Cain.

Further proof of the Covenant can be seen in the skin of Native Americans. The Native Americans are really the "Lost Tribes of Israel." As you see, The Nephites and Lamanites were ancient tribes of Israel that traveled by submarine to the new world. They had a covenant with God that they broke when King Benjamin allowed the people an election and the Lamanites won the election. God turned the Lamanites "dark and loathsome."

BTW, if ever you were wondering why the Mormon Pioneers are white and delightsome while the Native Americans are dark and loathsome, the Mormon Church has the answer for you. (The answer is called racism).

People point to different skin color as proof of the Book of Mormon. (Of course, if skin color was really just a result of different climates, then the Book of Mormon would be false, but that is a different blog post).

Anyway, the restored covenant creates a new political hierarchy. The restored covenant demands that the powerful men toward the top of the hierarchy become sealed to multiple wives to cement their position in both this life and in the Heavenly Kingdom. As you see, the Heavenly Kingdom has more than just one god. The Heavenly Kingdom is itself a whole political hierarchy of Gods. The political hierarchy in church mirrors the political hierarchy in heaven. Isn't this stuff exciting?

This whole idea of political hierarchies within political hierarchies is the most Conservative idea since the advent of Islam. Living as a gentile in Zion, I've come to the conclusion that LDS Polygamous clans are on par with Mecca and Tehran in Conservatism.

I repeat, I am not a Conservative. I am just a person who loves the ideals of the US Founders who doing time in the arch conservative state of Utah.

The Conservatives of 1776 stood shoulder to shoulder with the British and level their musket fire at the US Founders.

Modern Conservatism is an ideology that appeared in the 1800s based on the ideals of Hegel and Machiavelli. Modern Conservatism has the goal of preserving the social structure of the ancient regime.

Modern Conservatism is every bit as messed up as modern liberalism, but there are millions of people declaring allegiance to conservatism without even the slightest thought about what conservatism means..

It seems to me that the restoration of polygamy in the politically hierarchy of a massive church will recreate the social structure of feudalism that conservatives so much desire. So it seems to me that conservatives should be embracing the restoration of polygamy.

Of course, it is possible that a large number of people who call themselves "conservative" never gave much thought to where conservatism came from and believe that conservatism is a ideology that values freedom.Such people might look at the clan structure the polygamy would bring with horror. But, then again, are such people really conservative, or do they have their words mixed up?

I am not a conservative. I dislike polygamy. I really dislike hierarchical political structures. But, if you are a conservative, feel free to chime in.